I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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