You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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