..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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