wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize