is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
