just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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