yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
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it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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