Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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