shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
