Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
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Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
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Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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