Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
