Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
