Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
