Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
