I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
