some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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