dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
