I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
