nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
