I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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