So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize