I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
