We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
