You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
