i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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