Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
