Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
