i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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