she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
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I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
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There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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