Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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