Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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