my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
