I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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