I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I need to calm my uterus...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
