What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
