Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
