You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
