you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
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He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
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Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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