After last night, I could never be a politician.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
