covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
