Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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