i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My pussy is not your playground.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
In other news, I just burned my penis
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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