Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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