alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
