Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Semen is not good for contacts.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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