it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
