from now on my penis is your penis
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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