please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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