she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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