Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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