operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
