but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
