I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
