It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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