4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
