I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
