Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
