That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
