Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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