I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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