he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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