i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
